In response to increased cases of Internet Addiction Disorder in recent years (hey, they call it a CrackBerry for a reason), the Heavensfield Retreat Center has opened the first 45-day recovery program in the U.S. for sufferers of the disorder (similar programs already exist in other countries, like China).

To qualify for admittance to the program, you must show several of the following symptoms:

1. Have a strong desire or impulse to use the internet.

2. Decreasing or stopping of the internet leads to withdrawal symptoms (e.g., general malaise, restlessness, irritability, lack of concentration, dyssomnia); and the above mentioned symptoms may be relieved by similar electronic media (e.g., TV, handheld games, gaming devices).

3. Continually increasing the amount of internet use and the extent of internet involvement to reach sense of satisfaction.

4. Use of internet in spite of its harmful effects; despite knowledge of harmful effects, internet use is hard to stop.

5. Difficulties controlling beginning, and finishing, and the duration of time of internet use; efforts to modify internet use may be attempted multiple times without success.

6. As a result of internet use, interests, recreation or social activities are decreased or abandoned.

7. Internet use is seen as a way to escape problems or to gain relief from negative feelings.

8. The extent of internet use is denied or minimized to teachers, schoolmates, friends or professionals (including actual time and expenditure of internet contact).

9. Everyday life and social function is impaired (e.g., in social, academic and workability.)

Er, I might have to start taking up a collection for the $14,500 program fee.

—Alyssa