Everybody, let me introduce you to Songsmith, a new software from Microsoft that allows you to spontaneously produce music on par with that of the Pussycat Dolls. This video that Microsoft put together is, in a word, BRILLIANT. I think it is an homage to the overacted infomercials of yesteryear – a stark contrast to current viral videos. I think it will really generate a lot of chatter and I, for one, want to be an early adopter. So, I’ve blogged my thoughts about this masterpiece in realtime below:
:04 Songtastic is intended for anyone who has ever sung in the shower? I wonder how many fatalities there will be as a result of people composing music on their laptop in the shower.
:15 That girl is totally thinking, “I’m going to use this software to start writing and distributing my own music because my father is clearly terrible at his job.”
:17 Glow-in-the-dark towels, BAZING!
:30 If this guy really doesn’t know what his daughter is doing, why does he answer in song? I can only imagine that this family routinely converses in melody.
:33 “I’ve never heard you sing.” Actually, the way the guy sings this is brilliant. He sounds like a lovelorn prince in a Disney movie: “Jasmanenica, I’ve never heard you sing…not since you touched that magical doorknob.”
:42 “It’s the cool new thing.” That’s how kids talk these days, right?
:55 Please note she is using a Mac, emblazoned with Lisa Frank-esque stickers. Still a Mac though. In a Microsoft ad.
1:02 My dad is a failure.
1:09 I wonder if she sing-explains all routine things to him. “And theeeen you put the coffee into this paper fiiil-ter.”
1:15 Yeah, keep nodding your head like you do when you listen to Kenny G in your Chrysler LeBaron.
1:36 Did not see that coming. I wonder if this impromptu kitchen laptop mugging has anything to do with those glow-in-the-dark towels he was pondering earlier.
1:42 Where is the best place to sing soulful songs about linens to my laptop? Probably at a public coffee shop.
1:59 If I had a dime for every time I met a stranger with a penchant for expository dialogue at a coffee shop while writing original jingles…
2:14 “Songsmith, huh?” This guy is just like me. Everytime I’m about to work on something: “PowerPoint, huh?” “Word, huh?”
2:16 THIS IS THE BEST PART! His songs are stale and not that jazzy, so he really bumps up the happy and jazzy factor with Songsmith! No more bone-crushingly depressing songs with this program!
2:20 Too jazzy. No, not jazzy enough. Too jazzy. Ahhh, perfect amount of jazzy.
2:25 Excuse me, did anybody else notice that this guy’s new, not-stale song has been plagiarized from an Elton John classic? Not cool and certainly not jazzy.
2:40 “Help me find a way to move my groove on.” I can’t really improve on that, so I’m just going to move on.
2:46 “Songsmith, you can be my #1.” Sorry sir, I think Prop 8 made it illegal to marry a computer program.
2:52 Ahh, finally we meet the antagonist, Mr. Old-Fashioned Marketing Speak. “Let’s get these numbers into the idea generator…”
2:56 I see through you, now let’s hear from this guy who appears to be using a tween girl’s computer that probably has a picture of Zac Efron on the background.
3:01 You have no idea what you are in for. This is probably how Gutenberg’s colleagues felt before he unveiled the printing press.
3:06 [Redacted]
3:10 Acting is reacting.
3:18 Why do these people not have lights in their homes? Is getting a towel this difficult?
3:23 Brava! I hope this lady will write a letter of recommendation to the committee that votes on Grammys for mid-level professionals.
3:27 Yes, you can bow at my feet.
3:32 I think they dubbed over the original lyrics here: “I’m stuck in a loveless marriage to you and it drives me nuts that you dress like Regis Philbin on an old episode of Millionaire.”
3:46 “And also thanks to Songsmith…” This was a very clever device allowing the actors to incorporate the product name again.
3:49 “Singin’.” I can only assume this is a pop culture reference to Sarah Palin. OMG, how do you think we can get a Songsmith in the hands of Sarah Palin?
3:52 Also, now that this guy has landed that big glow-in-the-dark towel account, do you think he’ll be able to afford a new shirt and tie combination?
3:55 Get ready to bring. It. Home.
3:59 Every word in rhyme? I hope these people don’t like oranges.
I love you Songsmith video.
— Andrew